Monday, October 12, 2009

Recession times...


Saw this idol, lying by the roadside...looks like someone has left god to fend for herselves...

bhagwan bhi raste pe aa gaye...

Friday, October 9, 2009

One man's garbage, is another's love


While the entire world seems to be on tweeter, here's one sweet phot tweet( may i say, photo treat). Children love soft toys, and especially something like tweety, but even a soft toy comes with an expiry date. So, out it goes in the garbag...only later to be picked up by the garbage man. And guess wat, he is taking it home, for his lil ones. Now thats re-cycled love at its best!

Thots from a cluttered mind....

Today morning, I got a call from the placement guy. After the basic information exchange, when asked about my expectation, and upon my saying…he shrieked…Boss, I will get you arrested under the Indian penal code Article xxxx for obsceniety, for asking such a vulgar salary. That’s the Khurshid Effect, you can assume.

Why doenst the commerce minister, finance minister go and arrest Mallika Sherawat, for possessing disproportionate assets, than her income( Gulp!). Income is something we all live for, so we can dine wine and chill, nd wear a levis. Now, alos available on emi’s. Forget that, now you can own a MF Husain painting on emi’s( don’t worry, its not going to be a small jigsaw puzzle which you sit and fabricate, one piece at a time).

Far more complicated is the jigsaw- the jigs of politicians and the saw of Maoists, who have almost sliced 167 districts out of 600 approx, in the country.

Their latest- Inspector Francis, sawed to death. The red blood on the ground is yet to dry, and we come to a few more colours…the tricolour..Indian wins Nobel prize, and the country celebrates…am happy with those 3 colours, am angry n red, seeing that innovation, mad ideas, wild experiments are never nurtured, grown and mentored in the right way in India.

Inspector Francis, head and body was given the final bugle and his son, grown to see violence, has taken a oath to avenge the killings one day, by becoming a police officer. ( the cycle continues). The cycle of samajwadi party worker banged into my bike at a traffic signal…but I dint dare, lest the entire gang (w)rings me up.

Its election time, daroo time, free nashta time, and time to bring out another colour which we r so proud of- Narangi( its slang for the thousand rupee note). Ring a ringa roses…pocket ful of narangis…so goes the poem…No better than those Maoists..they slit throats, these politicians slit ur poket n mine…to pay for their cattle class.( ooops).Mind you, the cost of these so called austerity measures far exceed the nominal token gesture ka value…for, when Rahul gets into a second class, an entire bogey goes waste for his SPG. Woman gives birth to a child, in a train toilet. Gosh, it slipped and woman jumped out behind her fallen baby. Unbelievable, but both are safe and alive. Hope she get’s some Mamata lifetime pass.


Just saw a pic of Kambli, giving tips to some young crickets…hope he doesn’t give tell them…how to wreck your career in 5 easy steps. Elizabeth, at 77, undergoing a heart surgery…will the docs be able to find her heart….am sure, it will be an uphill task( pun intentded).

Sharad Pawar, the Agri minister, touring vidharbha. Guess wat, he will ask his personal secretary: Wats the score man. Mr. Pawar, that’s not a cricket ball, those are human skulls…just thot of a cartoon….2 farmers in a field….about to toss a coin midair. one saying…look, heads we drink poson, tails, we hang ourselves.


But not all, have hung. Brave ones like dhyaneshwar dhange, who once was about to commit suicide…in 93, after his land holding turned from 500 acres to 5 acres only…he turned around the tide. No, it wasn’t the Monsanto or the GM breeds or hybrids. It was the desi breed. Desi ways. He stopped using fertilizer, changed crop pattern, ensured that 70 pcent of his life needs are fulfilled by his farm( including a babool datum- neem Indian datum)…today, he is an established farmer, heading a co-operative called Gandhi Jilha Vishmukta Shetmal Utpadak Sangh.


No toxins, no genetical modified seeds,…only natural. Wish, we could learn a bit more on that.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

आई AND i

आई। And I''.

both the words sound the same, yet, theres a sea of diference between them. one is all about selflessness, one id all about selfishness.

FYI, I in marathi means 'mother' . And the I me myself wala I is all too common with all of us.
Nothin can match a mothers love, whichever species....still remeber that bitch, carrying a roti in her mouth, n crossing the road in full torrential rains, she was taking food for her puppies..and well, she got smashed on the raod,...that roti still danglish out of her bloddied face....

yesterday, the scene was bad, wen one of relatives, someones mother and someones wife, expired.

the 6 year old daughter, so attachedto mom, dint know wat was happening. but yes she was informed that mom is no more....she cried a lot...tho every sweet lil diversion like toys, or funny antics done with her. did manage to drag her away from reality and let her be a kid....all for a fewmoments...wife was entertaining her, the small kid ananya, and she was telling the kid stories n poems n rymes...one such ryme...copy cat, stole a rat, tell ur momma to make u fat...we think kids dont understand, but well, the lil one burst out in tears...and told...now, i dont have my mom..she will never come back , haina, aunty??
the next most touching moment was wen the body was being taken into a morgue van, and the last prayers...almost thru, the kid, was standing next to a car...n it was raining heavbily...the car ac was on inside, and she started writing with her fingers...on that frsoty windows...my mom my mother, my mamma....
the child has been devasted for life....but life will go on, it has to go on....

Monday, July 13, 2009

July 13th, 09

What a day! To begin with!
A fight with wife, a breakdown of my bike, a cop catching me during a nakabandhi( of course, leaving me in 1 minute also)….15 missed calls while im on my way to office…and those turned out to be a creadit card agents calls….thx god, im out of credit cards, im only into bigger debts hahahaha.
A debt to bring back my wife’s lost months. A debt of double rent, double salaries to my guys who take care of my dogs, a debt of placing a guy in my friends restaurant, a debt towards helping guruji with his brochure for a gaushala, a debt to a friend to give him a treat of 2 beers, which is pending for 2 years….and yes, in nominal n worldly terms, a debt of 90k to be cleared…life moves on, time will. Time n destiney can be shaped the way u want it…thts jus a personal belief.

36 cops slaughtered at the chatisgarh-maharashtra border. Just yesterday, we heard PC Chidambaram talking about the biggest threat to the country..its not Pakistan, it’s the Maoists, who are doing not meow meow, but now growling in more than 137 districts of the country. We wont even know the names of al those brave soldies who died, o yes, we know the name of the IPS officer who was martyrd- V K Choubey.

Reminds me of another martyr, a kargil hero…and his story. As we all know, it’s the 10th anniversary of kargil…Sepoy Uday singh, who laid down his life, at the age of 20, to capture the most important peak- tiger hill. His mother has still kept his bullet ridden wallet( which was kept in his chest poket) when he fell to a hail of bullets. He died with a bullet in his chest- the brave son of India. As I was saying , his mother has kept his wallet, and according to her wishes, half the wallet will put in her own pyre when she dies, and the other half will be exhumed to flames with the father. Both parents, broke down the day they were called to Kargil martyr ceremonies.

174 n counting. Illicit liquor killed so many in ahemadabd, Gujarat. We heard Modi lash out at Vijay Mallaya, and then go ahead n expound on principles of how gandhi’s land needs to be a prohibition state. Ive lived half my life in surat, and blive me, any liquor, any beer, any wine is available there…I had many friends who were rregular drinkers( I dint drink that time)…and especially at an area called gholwad, tables are spread across the street where u can have it jus like ur having at a bar in Bombay.

And modi talks of prohibition????
Bullshit.

Only reason why it still makes sense in Gujarat is, bcoz the bribes, ranging from 55 lakhs to 1 crore 30 lakhs,od Umra police station in surat, to Allis bridge police station, respectiviely, goes directly into the cops hands, and of course the netas pokets. Great gandhian ideals!!!! If liquor would be lagalised, then it goes to the exchequer of the govt.

The 30th annual ‘Mooning of the trains’ festival was recently held in Orange country, LA. Where people reveal their buttoks to pasing trains. Well well, here, in Bombay, we have that event every single day, all u need is to board a local train and u will see, not just buttoks but much more…in different shapes ands sizes, and colors, of course.

See, that’s what u call a gap of perspectives.
Talking of gap, here’s this cartoon, where 2 oldies chatting by a bar stool, reveal their dilemma- Granpa says….o yes, I hav a huge generation gap in my own house…im comfortable with orkut, and my grandson is into tweeting.

It’s just mid-day and theres so much to talk, so much to share and so much to think about.

How can I forget that mad guy I saw at sion signal, he was waving his hands vilently in the air, as if to reach out something:: who knows, since he is waving to god, for his time could be near. But as of now, my time is up for writing. Will make a move….

Will add more saga to the day later in the nite…

Sunday, April 12, 2009

SLEEPING HEADS( PHOTOESSAY)


was jus passing by this butcher shop...like i said in my last post...ive seen guys sleeping many times near goat heads and stuff.....well this time i was lucky..or maybe unlucky...to see human insensitivness(towards others) out there, in all glory(or shame)

here was a buther snoozing peacefully, by 2 depaitated heads...


isnt it a stark pic, that captures one nerve of the foodchain, altho grosly...


one is sleeping forever, n while one is jus taking a break...


plz do post ur comments....

Monday, March 30, 2009

TELL ME WHY

TELL ME WHY
why dont mutton shops stop displaying that gore n flesh. n out of the innumerable shops selling chicken n mutton, i hav my particular interest in one small shack..coz many times ive seen his small kid sleeping in the evenings, rite next to decapitated heads of goats...tho its gory i must say it is a briliiant photoessay. hope i can capture it on camera someday soon.i am lodging a PIL against this gross display of flesh...so wat if u love it, u eat it? did i say im against ur eating? go ahead, veg or non veg is a personal choice. now, that the reason i bring frozen chicken kheema at home for my 3 dogs...tho i dont eat it, or even dont like the smell. all im telling is, please respect sensitivities of others.

few months back advani inaugrated a gym, n he was all over the media doing a bench press. the maharashtra state minister, cant recollect his name rite now, inaugtrated a swimming pool, n he, beiing a good swimmer himself, took the plunge. now heres the main point. saw this poster at akbarallys, chembur. that gurudas kamat, has inaugrated a muslim kabrastan. i hope he lies down in a grave for 2 mins, just for the media!!!

why did tht dog, stand rite next to the goat, which was just bout to be slaughtered...one creatures food is anothers death??
everytime an aircraft lands, i see all the passengers flipping open their cells, and like frantically making calls and announcing tht ...bhai, i have jus reached...i av jus landed..im jus coming out..my god, as if that one hour or 2 hours tht they were flying, the entire world mite have changed.hahaha/
why are we in so much love of those security tags on our hand baggage...tht it doesnt go off easily. once i met this guy who;se securtiy tag was atleast 19 days old..n his explanation was...arre bhool gaya...
so wen we land at the airport, and then sit in our car/cab or watever, we want to make a statement to all those lesser mortals...that hey, ive jus come back..via flite.
eveerytime theres a road accident, especially, wen a person is badly injured or crushed under wheels, why is it that indian police always apply that clause of rash n negligent driving, not amounting to culpable homicide? arent ppl who are crossing or walking, many times, at fault?? last nite a kid in ghatkopar was crushed. the driver was beaten badly, bus was stoned...etc etc. no one bothers to chek wether the kid was rite or not.
most of the times, even wen its green, u have ppl walking rite across u, as ur jus pressing the accelerator. now if i trundle over someone tom, will it be my fault>>
??
in one such instance, i raced the engine and about to take off, wen the signal was green, n this guy crosses the road...i intentionally went rite upto him, n stopped my bike rite between his legs....he was terribly angry..and remarked...bhai andha hai kya( r u b;lind)
i said yes. im blind. jus like u. jara please batao na, ki green hai ya red hai??
he dint say a word n walked away.

i swear i will hit someone very badly some day, if he or she is crossing the road at a green signal. why should i only be respecting the law?? if the law expects me to, then he better too!
why do water tankers lways leak n leave a trail of water?? so that some bikers slip in that waterway?? why do we not see milk tankers, petrol tankers leaking??
why are wine shops named wine shops?? u hardly find any wine, its only whiskeys n rums and vodkas of the world. n yes in the same vein, ever heard conversations happening at a wine shop??
boss, ek narangi dena! its some desi liquor brand with an orange logo.
ek bacha dena( bacha is a small 90 ml bottle of whiskey.
boss, black bottle dena, yeh nahi chaiye.( ppl hav a perception that beer tht comes in a dark opaque bottle is more stronger than a white transparent bottle, of the same brand)

why do shopkeepers always wrap a sanitary napkin pack, in a newspaper?/why cant i carry it back home just like id carry my babys diaper? or for that matter, even a condom...why do shopkeepers still hand it over to me discreetly??ive got some firing from my wife wen ive bought it openly in my hand( i rarely use plastic polythene bags)
why shouldnt i send a stinker to those people who send me those bloddy chain sms's , that say that...this is sai babas blessings, n forward it to 9 ppl immediately..if u do, then u will get good news in 24 hours. if u dont, then u will face bad luck bad times for 24 years. fuck it. sai baba is above such frivolous threats guys. stop this useless service-provider-provided-generated-sms's. wake up. jaago re!
why is every young kid waiter called chotu or tambhi? and mind u, that tag sticks for a long time coz i know one chotu which is almost 54 years old now.
we all grow up on stories, poems, rhymes, n anecdotes related to animals. bholu the bear. chimpu the monkey. moti the dog. n yet, i see mothers telling their kids...beta uske paas maat jao, ( voh dog kaat lega). how sick that we ourselves parents instill stories of animals, n then, later on, instill fear n hatred within young minds...

and finally, why does a varun gandhi, who boldly spoke on behlaf of hindus, be branded a communal mind?/ wat bout bu azmi? wat bout lalu yadav. wat bout congress, who has not only inherited the british divide-n-rule policy?
why do we always cut down that most impotant question which has led to human evolution...why not??