TELL ME WHY

TELL ME WHY
why dont mutton shops stop displaying that gore n flesh. n out of the innumerable shops selling chicken n mutton, i hav my particular interest in one small shack..coz many times ive seen his small kid sleeping in the evenings, rite next to decapitated heads of goats...tho its gory i must say it is a briliiant photoessay. hope i can capture it on camera someday soon.i am lodging a PIL against this gross display of flesh...so wat if u love it, u eat it? did i say im against ur eating? go ahead, veg or non veg is a personal choice. now, that the reason i bring frozen chicken kheema at home for my 3 dogs...tho i dont eat it, or even dont like the smell. all im telling is, please respect sensitivities of others.

few months back advani inaugrated a gym, n he was all over the media doing a bench press. the maharashtra state minister, cant recollect his name rite now, inaugtrated a swimming pool, n he, beiing a good swimmer himself, took the plunge. now heres the main point. saw this poster at akbarallys, chembur. that gurudas kamat, has inaugrated a muslim kabrastan. i hope he lies down in a grave for 2 mins, just for the media!!!

why did tht dog, stand rite next to the goat, which was just bout to be slaughtered...one creatures food is anothers death??
everytime an aircraft lands, i see all the passengers flipping open their cells, and like frantically making calls and announcing tht ...bhai, i have jus reached...i av jus landed..im jus coming out..my god, as if that one hour or 2 hours tht they were flying, the entire world mite have changed.hahaha/
why are we in so much love of those security tags on our hand baggage...tht it doesnt go off easily. once i met this guy who;se securtiy tag was atleast 19 days old..n his explanation was...arre bhool gaya...
so wen we land at the airport, and then sit in our car/cab or watever, we want to make a statement to all those lesser mortals...that hey, ive jus come back..via flite.
eveerytime theres a road accident, especially, wen a person is badly injured or crushed under wheels, why is it that indian police always apply that clause of rash n negligent driving, not amounting to culpable homicide? arent ppl who are crossing or walking, many times, at fault?? last nite a kid in ghatkopar was crushed. the driver was beaten badly, bus was stoned...etc etc. no one bothers to chek wether the kid was rite or not.
most of the times, even wen its green, u have ppl walking rite across u, as ur jus pressing the accelerator. now if i trundle over someone tom, will it be my fault>>
??
in one such instance, i raced the engine and about to take off, wen the signal was green, n this guy crosses the road...i intentionally went rite upto him, n stopped my bike rite between his legs....he was terribly angry..and remarked...bhai andha hai kya( r u b;lind)
i said yes. im blind. jus like u. jara please batao na, ki green hai ya red hai??
he dint say a word n walked away.

i swear i will hit someone very badly some day, if he or she is crossing the road at a green signal. why should i only be respecting the law?? if the law expects me to, then he better too!
why do water tankers lways leak n leave a trail of water?? so that some bikers slip in that waterway?? why do we not see milk tankers, petrol tankers leaking??
why are wine shops named wine shops?? u hardly find any wine, its only whiskeys n rums and vodkas of the world. n yes in the same vein, ever heard conversations happening at a wine shop??
boss, ek narangi dena! its some desi liquor brand with an orange logo.
ek bacha dena( bacha is a small 90 ml bottle of whiskey.
boss, black bottle dena, yeh nahi chaiye.( ppl hav a perception that beer tht comes in a dark opaque bottle is more stronger than a white transparent bottle, of the same brand)

why do shopkeepers always wrap a sanitary napkin pack, in a newspaper?/why cant i carry it back home just like id carry my babys diaper? or for that matter, even a condom...why do shopkeepers still hand it over to me discreetly??ive got some firing from my wife wen ive bought it openly in my hand( i rarely use plastic polythene bags)
why shouldnt i send a stinker to those people who send me those bloddy chain sms's , that say that...this is sai babas blessings, n forward it to 9 ppl immediately..if u do, then u will get good news in 24 hours. if u dont, then u will face bad luck bad times for 24 years. fuck it. sai baba is above such frivolous threats guys. stop this useless service-provider-provided-generated-sms's. wake up. jaago re!
why is every young kid waiter called chotu or tambhi? and mind u, that tag sticks for a long time coz i know one chotu which is almost 54 years old now.
we all grow up on stories, poems, rhymes, n anecdotes related to animals. bholu the bear. chimpu the monkey. moti the dog. n yet, i see mothers telling their kids...beta uske paas maat jao, ( voh dog kaat lega). how sick that we ourselves parents instill stories of animals, n then, later on, instill fear n hatred within young minds...

and finally, why does a varun gandhi, who boldly spoke on behlaf of hindus, be branded a communal mind?/ wat bout bu azmi? wat bout lalu yadav. wat bout congress, who has not only inherited the british divide-n-rule policy?
why do we always cut down that most impotant question which has led to human evolution...why not??

ONE MORE DAY HAPPENING DAY

Photo essay of the day:
Arun gawli, the gangster, nw a so-called-reformed politician, was conducting a mass marriage in dagdi chawl. n the guys who were pasting posters all over walls and boundaries, perhpas cant read english. well, one movie called goonda raj was also released at the same time, n likewise, its posters were everywhere. guess wat, here in this photoessay, we see that arun gawli's posters are well stuck on the goondaraj poster. how real can reality get??? haina??

My wife has a very strange problem- of panicking very badly every morning to the call bell. Ringgggg. And she shook me up to the effect of a 8
point earthquake on the richter scale.
And mind u guys, thats just the first bell. so wether im sleeping at 2 or 4 am, im still supposed to wake up at 6.30 am...and itrun to open the door to pik up the dhoodh.
After that, 4 more bells.
milkwala.
dog attendent.
kachrawala.
newspaperwala.
bai.
istriwala.
phew.
so wether its sunday or monday, roz i have to eat d(aande)...mental gongs on my head.
wont u feel like gving gaalis? or atleast feel like??

neways coming back to expletives.....
another news: the fact about indian gaalis( expletives) are all aimed at maa, behen's...and well, here in bombay, one guy actually lived up to ggaali he gave to his friend: teri maa ch........ daloonga. guess wat, he raped his friends mom. shameful.he got a sentence of 7 years.

Another piece of news was how a fireman in bangokok, went out of the way, in the truest sense, n rescued one autistic boy stanndin precariously on the ledge- 9 floors above ground level. reminds u of amir khan in taaren zameen par...here it was in the asmaan...the fireman rushed n came back wearin a spidermans outfit...n then slowly made the kid belive tht its a real spiderman...slowly coaxed him, to walk towards him, and grabbed him lovingly wen he was close enuf. one more lovely star saved.
having said tht i hav always wondered, why do autistic kids( mentally retarded kids) pardon the term, why do have such common features as rounded off face, thick lips, sunk eyes...think bout it...wat are the factors tht make them all look similar? im inetested to know he scienifc answer to this.
us

elections loming over, and the farmers in vidharbha mite be wondering, tht till yesterday there were only vultures hoverin around our lands and villages an lavishlyd homes. And where there were no vultures, there were those nasty loan sharks. wow, helicopters are flying all the sky. rejoice guys, rejoice farmers. coz u mite not be alive to see this spectacle again. after 5 years.

BREAKING NEWS: 6 MORE FARMERS COMMITTED SUICIDE IN LAST 24 HOURS IN VIDHARBHA.

Malay shende's exhibition, currently underway at sakshi art galeerRy, next to mcdonalds, vt, shows this irony too drastically. Its at lavishly laid silver table, and rite in the middle, we have the salt n pepper dispensers. Only difference, is that those dispensers contain the ash of certain farmers who committed suicide. great job malay!
One of his sculptures shows a prehistoric man, pushing a pram in which there is this new n improved human being in all his naked glowy, n curled up like a baby..mind u he is a full grown male, and his gentils all exposed. Thank god no right wing left wing or broken wing activists have seen this art, or they will break sakshi art gallerys windows for sure...just like that whole mess they created over tits clits n elephant dicks exhibition.

they say elephants have amazing memory..but les5, he talk vout one indivial named bob petrella...he has been diagnosed with a great beemari called hyperthymescia. hope i remember the name rightly. And yes, he has overdeveloped memory. so much tht right from the age of 5, n today he is 42, he remeber every single moment, conversation, dates wen he met xyz, all his contacts n numbers, by god every single thing. i still remember, ( thats the only thing i remember) that i had scibbled down some statistics for management formulae on my palm, during an exam...but the point is, i dint remeber where to use which formula. i was publicly embarrased, coz in the entire history of somaiya management college, there was no one like me- who got a zero score out of 100. next trial i made a 700% improvement. i got 7 marks. 4rd attempt i got 23. 4th attempt the principal got sick of me and called me to his office n slammed the stats paper in my face, granted me 35 marks out of his poket and kicked me out of college with my degree.
And here at the other end of the spectrum...our netas who have amnessia, n remeber theoir constituneicnes only every 5 years. hahahahsh

In one of agony aunt columns, this boy asks the doc....doc, i and my gf had sex with clothes on, n i ejaculated in my pants only. Now, my g has missed her periods this month and im scared. Could she be pegnant? If i were the doc, i would simply tell him...boss change ur pants later, first change ur gf. coz she seems to be of that ' more lovin' types...and she mite be in love with more than just u.

arre some months back, i saw this classified, n it was clearly mentioned tht it was a kerala massage, n spanisthh massage. Now guys its not that i dont know bout all thhose seedy parlours, those prostitution dens operatig in the guise of parlours...but here it seemed too genuine, and plus it was mentioning a certain doc's name also. So i merrily called up, coz i was having a post-fall pain in my legs. n the voice at the other end asked me, sir aapko kaisi ladki chaiye..hamare pass air hostess se lekar models to college girls to housewives hain. i stuttered....as my wife was rite next to me, and since i wasnt making any secret call, i cared 2 hoots. here i was in pain, and i really needed some massage..and it was a clear need and a solution approach. alas. i banged the phone down. really. not that im a sharif guy who doesnt get attracted to females, hot ones, but jus that im too darpok in such matters, n ive stuck to my wife my cell number and my adreess for the last 8 years. phew!
o
talk bout desperation of diff varietys....and here was a woman who needed a kid badly...and she approached a tantric...first he adviced her to sacrifice a hen, then a goat, and finally he dropped the bombshell..u have to sacrifice a rhino if u want to have a kid...she paid his return airfare, 3 lakh rupees, and more. n then after feeling cheated, she also filed a complaint of cheating. gosh, now u know who to blame for all those missing rhinos in the kaziranga.
Monjul, the cartoonist at DNA, is, mind you, the next superstar cartoonist. amazing wit, amazing black humour, and cutting edge sarcasm. today his cartoon shows varun gandhi reading the gita and saying " yes priyanka did, im reading the gita, n yes im ready to fight with my cousins now.
i would like to rephrase that line: yes didi, im reading the gita,and ram, krishna, and advani, are all on my side. im ready for the new mahabharata war.

reactivating my blog..cheers...n hip hip..shit..my hip bone broke!

chalo im beginignmy blog again today. was jus wondering wat to write thats wen i saw this news. the monster dad and tht tantrik need to undergo some semen smear tests, but they have not been able to ejaculate, for that smal lab test. god knows what thse perverts need toto feel hot again, so tht they get an etection and then the govt can collect their sperm samples. well, who doesnt know tht a man so used to using his daughter for nine long yeatrs, best thing is tht his daughter shoud comeand n bobbit him. agree or not, but rapists cetainly deserve tht punishment. helloo mullaji, hello taliban, hello swat, are u listening??? come n please implement ur shaira law here, atleast in some cases.



jade goody dies and leaves a 9 million pound firtune for her kids. And tht set me wonderring, wat do i leave behind if i perish suddenly...
haath zinda lakh ka, mar jayen toh sava lakh ka...
i have a 10 lakh normal life insurance, and a 25 lakh accident insurace. guess why> coz i drive pretty fast, n wat better way than to die in an accident, so my wife n kids gets 25 lakhs, rokda.
otherwise, as of now, i cant give them 25 lakhs cash neways.
ijust 20 lakhs worth of insurance, jus 3 dogs, 4 kittens, and a collective mourning of 30 dogs who will, hopefuly, cry behinf me., my wife is too practical and she wont cry i know...what would i be doing if i knew tht i was gona die say in one year.
Visiting the mansarovar actually being where that lovely shankar bhagwan is supposedly stayin. i hav e felt him many times, wen i close d my eyes, but hey im like an indian politican, ive switched my loyalties long time back and im in love with hanuman. tho he is a brahmchairi, n im the quite oppostite...but i dont pray to him, i actually feel his warm fur, his broad feet, i see myself being hugged like he hugged ram, i feel every inch and every space of hanuman within me. theres a small hidden dargah near my place, off the highway..for a long time i had heard its a bhootiya place, but one day i jus wanted to go up the hill and discover what lies ahead n inside.It turned out to be a kind soul, shah alam, and rest was all in urdu, i couldnt understand. but hey who needs a language when it comes to matters of the heart.i sat there for 2 hours, offered him a typical giarland, meant for my mandir back hme...n i justs sat there peacefully....praying to tht spirit.
ensuring that all the 30 dogs are sterilised n no more population explotion
seeing my old macdonals had a farm kinda farmhouse- where all the disabled, disoriented and tortured animals, cows, crows donkeys dogs, kittens, and all the rest of noahs ark animals find a home, where they can die in peace. thts a reccuring dream. to see tht dream.
next is, to take my dad n mom to the republic day parade, once.
and yes, i wanna visit amsterdam and see live group sex also, and also i hav too many questions for a porn star...which i wanna ask her...
guess wat, the first question is gona be: ghar pe maa behen baap bhai aur beta aur husband nahi hai kya???what do u feel when they watch ur videos?
hey missy hotty, dnt take me soriously...u jus keep doing wats best...and ill do wat best i can do= watching ur videos.



im sick of indias politicians.
thats why, i will vote.

cartoon thots of the day:
we see manmohan and advani, involved in a slugfest, n thowing stones towards each others glass houses.
a common citizen raj kumar ka famous dialogue marta hai...
" jaani, sheeshe ke mehel main rehne wale log dossro ke upar patthar fenk sakte hain, kyonki dono ka bullet proof glass mere paise se hua hai.
another idea revolves around the recent outburst of vijay mallaya, when he was asked to pay customs duty on the gandhi items coming back to india.
the conversation at the airport:
vijay mallaya" it was my duty as an indian, to bring back indias heritage.
customs officer; this is my duty' sir.

Let me end this revived blog with a photoessay titled; the height of branding.
normally when clients talk of branding, we agency people give them a laundry list of items tht can be branded. Here, is featured the famous DSP black whiskey branding exercise. chek it out for urself and plz coment.