A PETITION FROM TBMAI ( THE BALD MEN'S ASSOCIATION OF INDIA) TO THE UNITED NATIONS

1.      All shampoo ads, hair oil ads that show amazing bouncy hair, long hair, different hair styles- be banned. It hurts our sensitivities and make us feel humiliated. 

2. All shampoo satchet SKUs should also be available in micro-ml’s. Why should we buy 20 ml of shampoo, when all we need is 2 ml for the 20 hair strands left. 

3. All UFO stories/serials be banned. Every time somebody watches them, they remember us and also refer our bald plate as UFO landing sites. 

4. In an increasingly customized marketing world, where you pay by channels chosen, where you pay mobile tariffs by the second, and you pay-per-usage- why this gross discrimination at salons? No matter whether we have 1213 hairs, or 12 hairs, why is the charge the same??? We protest this unfair marketing and pricing. 

5.All hair oils, hair treatments and hair rejuvenation solutions be subsidized for our community. If the govt can subsidize food LPG, kerosene, steel and even religious pilgrimages, why not hair oil??? 

6. We demand special seats/quotas on flights and trains. The last seat. So that people don’t draw illustrations, cartoons, etc etc on our bald plate while we are sleeping. 

7. The word 'takloo' be regarded as a ‘constitutional offense’ under the sacred Indian constitution. The offense must be made non-bailable and even juveniles- the main culprits in teasing us- be included in this act. 

8. Tabla’s should be renamed( damn, into anything) so no close reference to our bald plates ever arises.

9. We urge the government to install public mirrors, so people stop combing their hair, adjusting their make-up while using out shiny bald plate as mirror substitutes.

10. All search engines/ adwords specialists and cyber security experts should sit together, devise a plan so whenever we are surfing, no hair-gel ads, no shampoo ads, no Anil Kapoor kind of characters appear in front of us and make us feel an inferior race. 

Please share it, pass it on, spread awareness. It's a matter of grave concern and human rights. Ensure that this petition reaches the Parliament, the United Nations and all around. 1 share' would mean 1' Thx.

Yours' sincerely.

The Bald Men's Association of India.

President

Ashish Vyas

ashdoit@gmail.com 

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